misc ramblings n' thoughts...
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| james' blog... misc ramblings n' thoughts... |
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Eye Candy... You know, I talk a lot about different people in my blogs, and they're usually the same people. So this is just a blog to help put a face to a name, and something more colourful for tonight. Enjoy! 
ETCBC Oracles gathering at my house 
James Jer Joe Jon at CC  
Bigjon and I at CC, Geoff and I before going out to be continued... posted by jamescl | 11:31 PM Update... Sorry I haven't blogged in a while. I've really been meaning to blog but I've been coming home in the AMs every nite and I'm so exhausted that I go straight to bed so that I can get up the next morning to go out and do something again. Here's what's been going on in my life: [Thursday/Friday] Had work all day Thursday and Friday. Had CCF on Thursday and that went alright, although a bit disorganized, still it was good planning for orientation. I went to the "Walk of the Cross" on Friday where they re-enacted the crucifiction/ressurection of Jesus and it was actually pretty cool. It was extremely crowded though and we couldn't move anywhere without bumping into anyone. There were people camped out on the streets, on the grass and just about anywhere that one could sit on. It was kind of weird too, because it was right where I lived last year at UT and kind of strange seeing where I lived filled with pilgrims from around the world. Pretty chaotic actually. Anyways, we left a bit early because Jon has a fear of crowds and was really uncomfortable so we went to ETCBC for the end of the prayer meeting there and met up with people to grab a drink afterwards. Ended up playing photohunt for a while at Kelseys (I think we're addicted to that game and trying to beat the high score.) [Weekend] So yea, I've been keeping myself really busy lately with tons of stuff, but softball pretty much occupies my entire weekend. We spent over 7 hours in the sun on Saturday umping 4 games and now I'm significantly darker again than before. Went out to Pickell Barrel afterwards and had dinner with Deliverance team and then over to Jer's after to play soccer on PS2 and have a drink. Had our first loss yesterday against FOM but we only lost by 2 and played an amazing game. They also had a lot of their team on missions so had a really small lineup which was hard to contain. But we played a great team, displayed really good spirit and I was really proud of our team for that. We stayed and cheered on the FOTS vs FOM for the game after, then ordered Chinese food and went back to Euge's house to eat, chill and talk, tell horror stories, and then watch Zoolander. I'm really happy about all this bonding time that the team is having with each other and it's really helping us to become a unified body. Anyways, been feeling a bit better lately, thanks for all those who expressed concern and were prayerful for me. I greatly appreciate it. I got to talk to a few friends who called long distance whom I hadn't talked to in a while and that was really nice. Anyways, I'll blog more later, since I get Tuesday and Wednesday off. Lots of birthdays this coming week and next week, with Jon, my grandpa, my mom, Kar and others all having bdays. I should really get back to work now!! Have a great week!! posted by jamescl | 9:52 AM Instructions... [Warning: May cause humility, brokeness, adoration or even tears. Please consult a pastoral contact before reading.] Step 1: Minimize/close other programs such as ICQ, MSN, e-mail or any other applications. Step 2: Press Refresh and wait for song to load. Step 3: Listen to the lyrics of the song and read along at the bottom. In Christ alone my hope is found He is my light my strength my song This cornerstone this solid ground Firm through the fiercest drought and storm What heights of love what depths of peace When fears are stilled when strivings cease! My comforter my all in all Here in the love of Christ I stand In Christ alone! - who took on flesh Fullness of God in helpless babe! This gift of love and righteousness Scorned by the ones He came to save Till on that cross as Jesus died The wrath of God was satisfied - For every sin on Him was laid; Here in the death of Christ I live There in the ground His body lay Light of the world by darkness slain Then bursting forth in glorious Day Up from the grave He rose again! And as He stands in victory Sin's curse has lost its grip on me For I am His and He is mine - Bought with the precious blood of Christ No guilt in life no fear in death This is the power of Christ in me From life's first cry to final breath Jesus commands my destiny No power of hell no scheme of man Can ever pluck me from His hand Till He returns or calls me home Here in the power of Christ I'll stand! This song has brought me to tears, has humbled me and broken me, and reminded me of God's ultimate sacrifice and his undying love for me. Wow. I hope you got something out of it too. posted by jamescl | 11:40 PM Feelin'... Alone. Not takin' my friends for granted of course. But really just thinking about that one super relationship. The one i'm missing. Not necessarily a significant other. But just something's lacking. I have such horrible patience. Maybe (like you Jon), I'm also a very needy person. Maybe I expect too much. Maybe I'm just ungrateful with the things God has blessed me with. Maybe I just live in my own little bubble and go through my own life... On a totally unrelated note: I'm eating narsty junk food and eating out a lot more. Also feeling the after effects of the party. Eating bags of Ringolos (my fave), cake and other junk stuff. So good though!! And so kicks in the healthy side. Been jogging, swimming and doing sports a lot more these past few weeks. Must offset all this crazy eating. Ok, let's end this randomness. Nites. posted by jamescl | 10:32 PM Sweet weekend.. Wow, such an amazing weekend!! So much to write about and so little time. It's already pretty late and I have a full day of work ahead of me, but I'll write a bit since I had no time to write anything during the weekend. Anyways, so it all started off with Friday. Slept in for the first time in a while, then went out for lunch. After that, Joe/Dan picked my bro and I up and we went shopping a bit in preperation for the party at night. By 5ish people started filtering in yea when all was said and done, I think we had over 60 people come. I know, I know, we had more last year, but I kind of liked it since we (Megs/I) actually got to talk with almost everybody instead of a lotta "hi's and bye's" like last year. What did we do?! Well, had potluck dinner (with some amazing creations handmade by a lot of people from pasta to cheescake, and we had a ton of chicken as well. =) There were different people doing basketball outside, swimming in the pool, playing scrabble, playing tabboo, lots of talking and chatting, eating, and just different fun things! Even met a few new people (haha, we both seem to meet some new people at our party every year!) Had quite a bit of fun; thanks to all that came and showed up. Oh, and Carny called from HK in the middle of the party, Sue called from Windsor, Grace called from HK, Kar from Europe, and all these other people called in during the party too!! That was so sweet as well, and totally made our night. After everyone left, Megs and I have our little "Christmas morning" at 4am and we open up all our presents together. Got so many funky things like car stuff, food, picture stuff, books, puzzles, pens n' stationary, music stuff, and of course, tons of alcohol!! Jon even bought me a mini-keg for afterwards!! Sam, Jon, Jon and Jus stayed over for the night and we chilled a while before crashing at like 5. Had a great evening! Saturday was my actual bday and that was really sweet. Went to the driving range with Jon, Jon, and my bro for a bit but it was so hot so we didn't stay too long. Went out for lunch, ran some errands, and then chilled around for a bit, before going out for family dinner and then to John 4:24. The praise nite was pretty good, but there was a section where we took sidewalk chalk and wrote comments about Jesus all over Mel Lastman Square. A ton of people at John4 actually came up to me and said happy birthday (some that I didn't even know) so that was really sweet. I didn't even know how they knew it was my bday. That was really cool, and afterwards, I walked around reading and totally being encouraged and blessed by these comments. Went out for "siew ye" afterwards with a bunch of people (mainly softball team) at Congee Wong and then headed home. Had church this morning, then went to Taste of Japan for lunch with our softball team. Chilled at the park for a bit and finally saw Lyds. Wow, I miss her so much!! Chatted for just a little bit and then we had our softball game. We were actually kind of freaked out cause we were playing the 6-0 knights jr. who had just finished dismantling FOTS, whom we really respected and thought were a great team. But I was really proud cause our team played really hard and played together and we pulled out a victory in the end. So now we're 6-0!! We also had a ton of people from the Sr. team and Lumas and other teams that came out to support us, so that was totally awesome. Francine, the governess of the Knights Jr. is such an amazing woman. Afterwards, she invited our entire team, and all our fans and their fans over to her house where her parents were BBQing for us with a ton of good food (lots of meat!) She does that for every single team that her team plays and I thought that was so amazing. Thank you so much Francine for opening your house up to us and for really demonstrating God's love with your actions. We chilled there for a bit and then headed over to Velsie's where we chilled, watched "Meet the Parents" and yea, had more team bonding. Just got home now and i'm pretty dead tired. So there you go. A completely useless update on my entire wonderful weekend. If you don't know me, I apologize, I'll try to have some substance on this blog sometime. But yea, really glad to see some old friends again this weekend. Thanks again to everyone who made it so sweet. Too many of you to name, but you definately know who you are! I'll try to blog more soon. Nites! posted by jamescl | 12:24 AM Happy birthday to me!!!!! to be continued... posted by jamescl | 3:38 PM A Terrible Prayer... I have been terrible at praying. I forget. My mind wanders. I fall asleep. I don`t pray enough. I don`t understand what prayer is Or what it does. If prayer were school... I would flunk praying. But prayer isn`t school. It is mystery. Maybe the mystery is... Jesus loves terrible prayers. Maybe... When I can`t think of anything to say, He says what i can`t say. When I talk too much, He cherishes my too-many words. When I fall asleep, He holds me in His lap and caresses my weary soul. When I am overwhelmed with guilt at my inconsistent, inadequate praying. He whispers, "Your name is always on my lips". "Praying the Mystery" by Michael Yaconelli We were talking about praying at dinner a couple weeks ago. And then I was just doing some light reading before work today, and yea, I really liked this. I realize I stink at praying. Yet He still loves it. posted by jamescl | 11:37 PM Cogitate \KOJ-uh-tayt\, intransitive verb: To think deeply or intently; to ponder; to meditate. Cogitating. More than just thinking. Really meditating and racking the inner most regions of my brains. You know when you just feel pensive 'cause all this stuff hits you? And you question things you've been doing in the past, the life you're living, your current avenue of life that you've chosen to walk along. The people you've trusted, the things you've said, the actions of your body all become uncertain. And things feel so far away, even though they're so close. And you feel all alone, even though you're amongst friends. And you feel unloved, though you are surrounded by love. And things don't seem to make sense, and, and..... But hey, the sun will always rise. And I'll continue to cogitate. posted by jamescl | 10:42 PM Bleh... Had better days than this. Don't feel like writing much. =( I'm really complicated and confusing I know, but....*sigh* posted by jamescl | 11:49 PM Update... Haven't blogged for a while. Kind of like what Lyds said: a lot on my mind, but some of it too personal to share, especially from those whom I don't even know. I've gotten these neat e-mails and notes from people in Europe, Malaysia, Singapore, HK, and all over Asia as well as Canada, and it's pretty cool. But I still feel kind of weird sharing some of my personal struggles and stuff. But something occupying my mind a lot is CCF and campus ministry and just fellowship as a whole. Maybe I'll blog about it later. Or ask me personally if you're interested. =) Had a good weekend. Played Soldiers 1 on Saturday, and that was a really fun game. We had an inning where it was pure silence and nobody was allowed to say anything. That was just to kind of show love by actions instead of words. I saw players highfiving players on other teams, going over to give a pat on the back, or showing motions of encouragment. We had an inning also where you could only cheer for the other team and not your own team. That was so jokes. Soldiers were up to bat and Albert (their govener) was yelling "1, 2, 3 inning!! Get us out!!! Big D!!!" and we were yelling "Get a homerun, hit it over us!! Burn us!!" while they were up to bat. Was a lot of fun and lots of jokes. Truly what a good softball game should be all about. Thanks Alb for the great devo afterwards too. We also played Saints Jr. on Sunday and that was pretty fun too. We won both so we're 5-0 now!!! But the sweetest thing about our team is that we're like all getting tight now. After our game on Sunday, we all went to the supermarket and broke up into groups of 3-5 of people we didn't know too well on the team. Then each group was in charge of a different course (ie. salad, meat, pasta, dessert, drinks, etc.) and was constrained by a $10-20 budget. We all went back to my house where we prepared the food in our groups, and then chilled by the pool eating, chatting and just enjoying each other's company. Was really a good time to get to know each other and joke around each other and just really chill. Very sweet. Anyways, I realize that softball takes up every single weekend of the summer. Oh my! Jon, hope your knee feels better bro. Lyds, good to see you blogging again!! Anyways, stil have some jumbled thoughts in my head. Work is so exhausting, but I'll try and blog more this week. posted by jamescl | 12:06 AM My Best "Firend"... You know those Johnson & Johnson commercials that go "This is my best friend so and so. We've been best friends since *in unison* first grade." Well, Geoff and I are sort of like that (well, except not that fruity.) I lived with him during the school year, and this summer we've both been really busy with different stuff, but Geoff's definately someone that I can not talk to for a while and then pick up as best buddies again really fast. We've gone through the same kind of struggles, celebrated many things together, experienced the same soft of feelings, and had many countless talks, sleepovers, chill times, drinking escapades, clubbing stories, fellowship activities, and pretty much everything you can imagine. He probably knows more about me then anyone else. Anyways, here's an excerpt from Geoff's journal a long time ago that he just stumbled upon. I totally love this. Note the date and also the spelling mistakes. 
Friends for 14 years now I believe. Elementary private school together, church together in high school, and now university together. One of those people that I'll introduce to my kids saying "When I was your age, I was best friends with him and now look at us. We're still great friends!" And of course, they'll roll their eyes. Anyways, thanks gheffo for being an amazing "firend" throughout all these years. You rock. Anways, just wanted to end with this grade 2 yearbook photopage. If you look carefully, you'll see other people who graduated from North Toronto Christian School (NTCS) in my class that are now all in different churches and leaders of different youth groups, softball teams, etc. Very sweet. 
posted by jamescl | 11:46 PM Update... Some serious blogs lately, so a nice light one for now and a quick update on my life this past little while. Got a nice day off yesterday. Totally got to sleep in till like 12, met up with a buddy to see Lilo and Stitch (which was pretty good; not great, but definately not bad.) My friend actually cried through it (we'll keep her anonymous to save her embarassment!! =) Jeff and Jon (my two cousins) came over and we all (my bro too) went swimming in our pool and chilled for a while, so that was a good workout. Been trying to swim or jog every day for the past couple weeks. Need to get back in shape for softball and stuff. Went out with JonX2, Jer, JusX2 and Sam to East Sides at nite for some half price appetizers and a drink. Very nice! Today was also a super day. Had work, but had a three hour lunch break in between. So Geoff came down and met up with me and we went out for dim sum and that was pretty good! Good chance to catch up and chill and stuff, since we were both so busy this summer. Met up and saw Willsies at his work (UT bookstore) and discovered he gets crazy discounts on UT gear (so look for me to be sporting all this UT gear next year!!) Kar called from Venice as well, she's having a great time and starting to learn to appreciate and try out alcohol (finally!!) and talked to Carny a bit from HK too, so that was really sweet! Anyways, really excited about tommorrow, cause I'm going back to YSM (Yonge Street Missions) in the afternoon to visit the kiddies there. I've worked there for over 2 years now and seen many of the kids grow up and stuff, so it'll be really cool to see them all again. I really miss them!! Side note: why is everyone not updating their blogs?! I haven't seen all these updates from some people in such a long time!! Hope to hear from y'all soon. Have a great rest of the week! posted by jamescl | 10:09 PM Softball... Sorry I haven't blogged in a while. I actually wasn't planning on blogging but due to a few people tugging at me to write something, here's something that's occupying space in my mind. This year, I'm coaching for the ETCBC Oracles (I know, yet another new team) and it's kind of my first ministry in this new church I've been attending for the past year or so. And I'm really excited about it, since I love softball and have been playing for many years, etc. I think there's a misconception going around the league that CCSA teams are either high spirited and fun, but very sucky in terms of skill, or hardcore and competitive, but very high skilled and win many games. And to a certain degree, this is true. The teams that are willing to do all the "tight" things usually win. For example, if you pinch in for girls, if you run very aggressively, exploit their weaknesses (ie hitting only to one weak player on the field), and sub in all your girls so they play less, you'll probably win a few more games, because all these things are "strategically wiser." But think about how the girl feels when the entire team moves up as close as they can get to the line, or how the guy feels after every single ball seems to be flying towards him, but he can't catch a single thing. You think they feel good playing in a Christian softball league?! I was talking to a girl who is on a "girl benching" team and you don't understand how discouraging it is when you see other players (including your coach, governer, pastor, etc) all playing the full game, but you and your "weaker" hitting/less skilled and experienced girlfriends are sitting on the bench for over half the game. Is this the Christian spirit that we want to portray? My general rule and our team tries hard to stick by this: Coaches/governers always sit first, then Christians, and non-christians sit last/least. I think this year, I want to really prove that a team can have a ton of fun, and play well. We can win by trying hard and going after every ball, by running hard every time, and "striving for the commitment line" by giving it all we've got. And in the end, whether we win or lose, I just hope that we can say that we've "played the good game, we've ran as hard as we could run, and we've given it all we've got. And we've tried our best to honour Him in our actions." And that's what's important. I had a couple really good games this weekend, that were totally a lot of fun, but also experienced some disappointments. Thanks to the teams that really helped us have a good time of fun and fellowship. Isn't that what this is all about? I guess I really expected some teams to be really high spirited, to be really fun, and to make the game enjoyable for both sides, but I ended up being totally disappointed. (Not saying this is any team that we played or watched.) I guess some teams just care too much about winning that they're willing to sacrifice some of the fun. Or maybe just a few players ruin it for the whole team. I'm sure sometimes some of our team's actions weren't the best and I can remember times when I was frustrated on and off the field, but we'll continue to work on that and ask God to guide us and help control us. I talked to each and every one of my team members after the game, and the only question I cared to ask them was "Did you have fun?!" And the only question I asked myself and challenged my Christian teamates was "Was God glorified through my actions on and off the field today?!" If your answer is no, then really think about why you play. I really do love CCSA, and I love the game that God has blessed us with. I thank our fans for coming to all our games, thank the people for making us tons of banners, thank people for coming out to cheer crazily for us. For our super fans for sitting through 5 hours of hot blazing sun, and still smiling and yelling for us. You guys help encourage and show us God's love and spirit when we are too frustrated and tired, and I thank you guys for your support (specially our super fans: Jon, Shar, Giz, Vels, Grace, Stella, etc) I wish we could not keep score, and just play, and rejoice in the surroundings that God has blessed us with. Let's really strive to glorify Him on and off the field. posted by jamescl | 12:13 AM Storing up lumber in heaven... At work right now and just listening to a CD by Eli, and am listening to this song about how to really make use of our time hear on Earth. Thought it was kind of applicable, since some of you have been posting comments about living life to the fullest. The Lumber Song Was a man who passed away St. Peter met him at the gate Pete said: "Walk with me if you will I'll take you to the house you built" Man said: "I can't wait!" Passed a mansion made of stone But with each new house he's shown They get smaller by degrees Stopped in front of a two room shack Pete said hope you're happy with that Man said: "How can this be?" Pete said:That's all the lumber, that's all the lumber you sent Looks like the builder, man he's got your number That's all the lumber you sent Man didn't know what to say poor guy was blown away Said: "you mean this is what I deserve?" Pete said: "I'm afraid it's so It's too late but now you know" Just the first verse/chorus. But goes on to say how if he had a chance to do it again, how he'd love God and love people so much more. I really hope that when I die, I won't have those regrets. posted by jamescl | 5:11 PM Day today... Good day today. First day off in a long time. Really needed it. Woke up with a call from Carny from HK and caught up with her. Met up with Joe, Gar, Barbz and Sarah to see MIB 2. It was ok. Just don't expect too much out of the movie. It ain't all that great folks! Grabbed an iced mocha after, and headed to CCF. Interesting program. Not sure what God wants me to do at CCF anymore. I need a vision! Oh, finally met Gladys today!! Talked with her a bit, and she's really cool. We're both like "Wait, you're gkyam?!!" "You're jamescl?!! Whoa!!!" Funny stuff!! Long day tommorrow, but should be fun. Work, then ball hockey, then um.. more fun! First softball game(s) this weekend! Come out and cheer for us on Saturday at 6pm at Warden and on Sunday at 2 and 4 pm till 6 at Huntsmill on Sunday!! Should be fun, getting really excited!! posted by jamescl | 11:52 PM Random thoughts..... Some things that have been plaguing my mind the past few days (weeks, months.): - Life is so short. Live it for a purpose and a reason. Live a life of significance, and not one of worldly success. For worldly success (riches, property and goods) fades and is extinguished as you pass away, but a life of significance and a legacy will last a long time after you're gone. (thoughts from "Eternal Impact", a book I'm currently reading.) - What role is He calling me to play in the campus next year?! Where does He want me to be? - I'm so blessed to have "superstars" and "jehs" that totally watch out for me. They care for me when I'm down, they pray when I'm in need, they call when I'm alone, they love when I feel unloved, they caution when I'm wrong, they speak His voice to me, when I choose to only listen to my own. - How come everyone (it seems) has a significant other and so many people are getting married now?! - Anticipating softball. Praying for softball. Excited for softball. Starts this weekend. - Birthday's in 2 and a half weeks! I don't want to grow up!! Party's coming up soon. - You miss people a lot more when they're gone. Told you they were random thoughts! Anyways, will blog more later. posted by jamescl | 10:42 PM | |
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Thanks to my buddies for adding colour to my otherwise dull life.